Just Part of Your Past Tense

Somehow, I found myself here again, drinking freedom from a bottle, while it drinks the life out from me. I used to be a morning person. What has happened to me…?
I used to enjoy waking up at sunrise. I loved doing the sleepy shuffle to the bathroom to admire my own bedhead in the mirror then waking my hands up with the cold tap water, before I use it to wake my face up, where the rest of my body will receive the signal that it is the start of a new day.
I loved rubbing my wet face and hair on the fragrant, puffy and lavender-scented towel beside the toilet door. I loved it when the water drips from my chin and hair before I got there because I would use my feet to rub on the spots which got wet and it would feel cool.
Then I would lie back down on the bed and grab my phone and… oh. That’s why I’m not a morning person anymore.
I used to lie back down on the bed and dial your number. You were a morning person too. Are. You still are. I guess? I’m not sure.
Perhaps you could get over us and continue with your morning routines the way they were before I came into them. That would mean that you’ve gotten over me faster than it took me to get over you. Well, that sucks. No, I mean I should feel happy for you of course. I still love you.
As long as you’re happy, I’m happy. But… how can I be happy without you? You were my happiness. You were the bolster that completed my bed. You were the chewy bits in the Black Forest chocolate that everyone loves to bite into. You meant everything to me. Now I’m just a skateboard without wheels. I’m just one of those drunks that I swore never to be. The pathetic shadow of a man who cries over girls. That’s what I have become. Just another pathetic part of your past tense.

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Just Part of Your Past Tense

5 thoughts on “Just Part of Your Past Tense

    1. Hi there PJ! Thanks for always being so supportive and concerned! I am doing well, this story is not about me, it is inspired by one of my friends, if that’s why it made me seem like I was not okay.

      Liked by 1 person

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