Everyone has to start somewhere
But he never knew it was so difficult.
Cogs, gears, springs and screws laid around him in a messy circle
and they were scattered all over the work desk.
Tunnel vision is his strongest suit anyway
And right now it was trained on the central gold-piece
A tong in a hand, a screwdriver in the other,
He stared with squinted eyes magnified a thousand fold
Fiddle, twiddle, a click and a snap,
His eyes widened
Was that it?
Was he done?
He attached the housing, screwed it shut,
inserted the battery, gave it life.
Tick Tick Tick, it was music to his ears.
Word count: 108
fredtotherick 
Wish that would work with this watch 🙂 Great story.
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Great story Fred! You made the photo come to life!
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I really enjoyed this one, it really made the photo burst into life and you can really feel the excitement of the person doing it 🙂
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Thanks for the encouraging comment, angietrafford!
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Nicely done, Frederick, good story
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How lovely, I felt his joy!
Rosey Pinkerton’s blog
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One can definitely sense the anticipation of the narrator in this. Very good indeed!
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Nice idea to take something simple and give it an air of tension.
Only crit I would have is the layout of the story. Some of the lines i.e. 3 and 4 were clearly one sentence, but for me, you lose the flow when changing lines for no real reason.
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Thanks, paulmclem!! I thought I was going to write a poem, so I kept to the free verse structure! But now I know it’s not poetic after all hahaha!! Thanks again for your comment!
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“I can take apart the remote control, and I can almost put it back together.” Afraid I’d make a well-oiled boat anchor, instead of a working watch. So good job, youngster!
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I think that would be a difficult job. I have a brother who can take apart anything and put it back together. But working with such small intricate pieces is amazing. I like how you made it a poem and you anticipated the next line as you read it.
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I don’t think that’s a job i could ever do! You capture both the difficulty of the task and the character’s anticipation of the completion of it really well. Nicely done, Frederick. 🙂
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