The end of a semester 

The last of his exams barely over, he sat in his chair and gazed into the distant wall. A part of him felt like yelling in joy and relief, while a part of him felt like howling in anger and frustration. 

It has been long since the feeling of bliss visited him. Back then, exams were but another doable piece of practice. He’s been brushing his hand through his hair far more lately; an act of stalling for time and pretending to be busy. 

The smiles hardly ever appeared anymore. His grim jawline made him appear much older than he actually was. Walking out of the hall wasn’t walking any longer, it was shuffling. Everything he seems is blame. Blame for the lousy teacher. Blame for the lack of practice materials. Blame for the school. Blame for everything but the self. 

He got up steadily, deciding that all he needed was a long nap to make him feel better again, and shuffled out of the hall. 

The end of a semester 

You are the actor who should be playing your own role

For some time now, I’ve been living life without a role model without even knowing it. This got me curious and wondering: how many of us actually live with and without a role model?

I guess, fundamentally, I just want to know whether I fit in or whether I’m part of a queer crowd.

But isn’t it strange to be living without a role model? That would mean that for some reason you are not emulating any of the great influential leaders who probably have at least a million followers each.

But on the other hand, one could argue that you’ve finally accepted who you are as a person and realize that there’s no point living when you’re trying to be somebody else. After all, paraphrasing Hamilton, “No one can play the role of you better than you can.”

Signing off,

~on his way to becoming comfortable in his own skin

You are the actor who should be playing your own role

Goodbye Subway

I meant to do this earlier, but my mother has been insisting that I sleep early so now here I am, burning the midnight oil once more to attend to my postponed plans.

My last day of working at Subway was last Friday, July 10th! And woah, it has been such a thrill to work there. If you are interested in reading some of the stories and posts that were inspired from my work experience, go look for the tag in my blog labelled ‘Stories From Subway’. I hope you get a good read.

I know none of my coworkers would ever chance upon this blog of mine, but I want to dedicate this to them, and I want to share with the rest of WordPress about the wonderful team of Sandwich Artists I worked with 🙂

  1. The Pale and Loud Guy – This guy is obnoxiously loud. He is ‘bapak kurus’ (skinny as hell) and his eyes look as if they have sinked into his skull, emphasizing his high cheekbones and the hollow temples, eye sockets and cheeks. Pale and loud is one of the coworker’s first impression of him, and he is indeed loud, but I’m not sure about pale. He loves to whine about ‘cerewek’ customers (picky/fussy) after they have left the store. Many of the funny moments we had in the kitchen started from him sharing about a word that a customer mispronounced, or other weird interactions with customers. Personally, I find it insulting and below me to laugh at others because of a silly slip-up in pronunciation, but his laughter is infectious (that, and I also don’t want to seem awkward, ha!) Besides his tendency to whine, he is a wonderful coworker who puts the ‘fast’ in fast food, if we overlook his sometimes messy performance.
  2. The Girl Next Door – This coworker is literally the girl next (next next next next) door. She lives walking distance away from my home and sometimes I would hitch a ride on her car. I don’t have a driving license yet. This girl is very educated, and for this reason, we often get into heated debates with each other. Once, we were discussing over a character in a game she was playing. His/Her name was Taylor, and she kept referring to he/she as ‘it’, while I referred to him/her as ‘him’. I poked fun at her by saying that ‘it’ is only used for animals. Then she resorted to using ‘they’, which confused me, because I thought ‘they’ is a plural pronoun. We argued for ten minutes about that, before a customer interrupted her. She later Wiki-proved to me that ‘they’ is universally accepted as a suitable pronoun for a gender-unknown individual. IT’S TRUE. ‘Singular they’ exists. I know, I know, our lives has been a lie. However, til this day, I am still fighting with her over the use of the ‘singular they.’ I used the point that English teachers would mark you wrong over the use of the ‘singular they’, thus it is still not accepted in academia use, and nor should it be accepted in colloquial conversations. What do you think? Who won? Or is it too petty an issue to fight over?
  3. The British Malaya – This coworker of mine has been living in the UK for fifteen-or-so years and recently came to Malaysia for two years. She speaks English heavily accented with a British touch. But it is already mixed in with the local accent so it is not as sexy as I expected to be. Or maybe my expectations were too high in the first place. Anyway, she is the freshest member on the team and is still adjusting. She is slightly socially awkward and is very blur. Not many people on the team likes her, and I think it’s safe to say that I’m her only friend? She even complimented me by saying I’m so nice and polite to her. I hope she wakes up soon and starts doing a better job so that the rest of the team can warm up to her and stop being so hard on her. She’s only sixteen! My friends should give her a break!
  4. The rest of the team – There’s the retard, the techno lover, the bitchy supervisor and lastly, the nice banana supervisor. Oh, and also, there’s the boss, who is bittersweet to work with. She is the shopkeeper and is a very nice person. She often buys dinner and snacks for us which is partly why we love her. On the other hand, when she’s around, each of our workload always multiplies by at least two-fold. She’ll pull aside the sofas, or dismantle the ovens, or lift up the freezers and suddenly there’s a whole Hidden City of dust that we have to explore and excavate. But free food always tastes nice.
  5. The Banana Supervisor – She’s always on her laptop at the back of the kitchen doing her own stuff, but when she’s needed, POOF, she appears, and WHAM, she slaps on the meat, and WHOOSH, goes the vegetables onto the bread and SPLAT goes the sauce onto the sandwich and CRACK, like magic, the sanwich is complete and wrapped and ready to be served within seconds. She’s the sandwich whisperer. I call her the Banana Supervisor because once, I encountered a Chinese customer who only spoke Mandarin. He pointed at the Turkey and asked what it was. I had trouble explaining so I turned to the other Chinese in the shop, her. She looked at me and said “Dunno! I’m half banana!” (Banana are yellow on the outside and white on the inside, hint hint. Keyword yellow, and white.)

And here’s a hilarious antic to end the story with:

This Chinese girl points at the Tuna and asks me what it was.

I said Tuna.

Then the customer asked in Chinese, Is it made out of beef?


ba dum tss

Goodbye Subway

I Never Understood Why Children Hate Vegetables

At my workplace, where we sell sandwiches with customizable ingredients, I get a lot of children and toddler customers who order sandwiches with absolutely no vegetables in them.

This brings to my mind the memories of various instances where I see children refusing to eat their broccolis, carrots, corns and peas.

But, ma, I hate vegetables!

Having been a child not too long ago myself, I can never understand why children hate vegetables, or at least why television commercial directors seem to have that stereotype in mind.

I absolutely loved my vegetables. My favorites were stir-fried french beans.

You will never find a need to do this to me.

On the other hand, I hated meat. I even once declared to my form teacher during class that I was a vegetarian. For some reason that I was too young to comprehend then, this sparked a huge (and totally uncalled for) show of concern for the ten-year-old me.

“Fred! You need to eat meat!”

“Fred! You’re too young to be a vegetarian!”

“Fred! Look at you! You’re so skinny! You really need meat!”

Too bad they did not ask “Fred! Do you really not eat meat at all?” because then, I would reply, “Actually I do. I just really really don’t like them that’s all.”

I Never Understood Why Children Hate Vegetables

50 Things That Make Me Happy

50 things that make me happy
1) Knowing that I’m the smartest person in the room
2) Pulling off a trick successfully in front of a friend/friends
3) When I know I will have an uninterrupted afternoon all to myself
4) Completing a song mashup on FL studio
5) Getting lots of likes on a post. (A great big thank you to all my readers and likers and followers! )
6) Proving other people wrong, especially when it makes him/her realize he’s/she’s been living a lie
7) Nights where I stay fully awake until the next morning and 8) Finishing half a season of Castle/Arrow/The Flash/Awkward/Faking It/How I Met Your Mother/Big Bang Theory etc. and 9) I sleep through breakfast and lunch after that, waking up because I suddenly have cravings and 10) Getting dinner right away that satisfies those cravings then repeating 7-10
11) Having a girl/girls laugh at my original pickup lines and admitting that they’re not bad
12) Getting compliments that I’ve never heard before
13) People praising my writing
14) Understanding jokes on TV that no one else understood
15) Chopping onions without shedding a single tear
16) When I smell the aroma of fragrant cooking (normally Chinese dishes)
17) When I cuddle with a certain someone
18) When I cuddle with my bolster and snuggle in a warm blanket, just my bolster and I, in an air conditioned room.
19) When I guess something right.
20) People recognizing for my talent, if any
21) Completing some form of handiwork e.g. fixing my own bag’s broken zip, patching up a hole in my jeans etc.
22) Finishing a damn good book
23) A girl texts me first for casual reasons
24) People show up for the outings I plan
25) People making life easy for me
26) Getting along well with people that I didn’t expect to get along with well.
27) When I wake up few minutes before  my alarm sounds
28) Perfect weather when I need to go outdoors
29) When my muscle aches on the next morning after I gym
30) Getting looks and glances or even stares from strangers.
31) Make friends on the airplane
32) My food order coming quickly
33) My Instagram pictures getting many many many likes
34) Friends who understand my sarcasm and build up on my jokes
35) When things go right just the way I want it to especially after I am super chill about it when I should be worried and stressed about what to expect
36) When my username is not already taken
37) When my computer starts up fast
38) Being surrounded with people who I’m comfortable with
39) People entertaining my random and ridiculous ramblings
40) When I kill flies and mosquitos with bare hands
41) When something I toss lands right into the dustbin
42) Pleasant dreams
43) When I remember the pleasant dreams the next morning
44) When I can operate my computer with only keyboard buttons and shortcuts to surf the Web
45) When I tear A4 papers into perfect halves
46) When I see a paper aeroplane glide like it’s riding an invisible pegasus
47) When I think of alliterative clauses
48) When I recall an Internet joke to use at the right time
49) Knowing all the lyrics to my favorite song and nailing the singing perfectly 😀
50) This blog makes me happy.

There! 50 items that make me happy! Are there any that you could relate to? Writing this list was helluva fun! Feel free to try it! I also want to nominate my followers who haven’t yet done it, to do it too! See your responses soon! 😀

50 Things That Make Me Happy

The Creative Blogger Award!!

A great galloping thanks to Izzy-grabs-life for my second WordPress Award Nomination!! This is my second award, and it happens to also be a Creative Blogger Award!!! The first time round, I did not really adhere to the rules, (not my fault, they weren’t stated clearly) so this may possibly be a divine intervention offering me a shot at atonement for my ‘sins’.

The Creative Blogger Award

  1. Nominate 15-20 blogs and notify all nominees via their social media/blogs.
  2. Thank and post the link of the blog that nominated you (very important).
  3. Share 5 facts about yourself to your readers.
  4. Pass these rules on to them

I would like to nominate you:

  1. Lilrants – She has the most creative interpretation of ‘stripper’ I’ve encountered. joking
  2. Pint Size Fiction – – Bite-sized nuggets of creative fiction.
  3. MythRider – – Creatively deceptive. She fooled me into thinking she was male because of her profile picture.
  4. Priceless Joy (PJ) – – Forgive me, PJ’s blog is allegedly blog free, but PJ deserves a nomination nevertheless! Brilliantly creative Flash Fiction prompts.
  5. A Narcissist Writes Letters to Himself – – I particularly enjoyed how he described his girlfriend as a demonic talking skull that haunts him.
  6. Life in the Foothills – – I hope one day you can indulge with me the mystery behind your creative username: babso2you
  7. Still Life with Grad Student – – She has the most creative way of dissing about life that makes it so interesting to read.
  8. waltbox – – Anyone who knows Dick Hercules will admit he’s the greatest (fictional?) character ever created.
  9. Morpethroad – – I just realized your username is actually ‘Morpeth’ and ‘Road’. Anyway, he is a splendid writer. Read his story on the Passenger which is simply brilliant.
  10. Fiction Favorites – – Creative way of telling us (from experience?) what not to do when: It’s your birthday, You’re Sent to Shop, etc.
  11. Nortina Mariela – – Her flash fiction and writings are always terrific to read.
  12. Odd Realizations – – An expressive poet that tells captivating stories through her eyes.
  13. The Bibliophile Diaries – – Definitely deserves a read. My favorite in particular: Grunge Princess. No one could have described themselves in a more eloquent manner.
  14. The Chatter Blog – – Snippets of writing in micro-posts; short but sweet, and always with an inspiring message.
  15. Before I Became A Great Writer – – A talented poet who weaves creative stories into poems that are equally humorous and relevant.

Now, for 5 facts about me:

  1. I think I have a very vivid imagination which isn’t the best thing. Reason being, I often imagine myself in new experiences and adventures, but when I actually experience the real thing, it never meets my expectations. Certain examples include overseas trips, joining school clubs, love, and working. Quite an unfortunate double-edged sword here, I’m afraid.
  2. I am an only child. Now upon saying this, people are quick to jump to one of the two assumptions:  1)  I am terribly spoilt.   2)  I have overprotective parents.  Well, I think neither holds true. I never get what I ask for, nor am I denied a decent degree of freedom. However, I am constantly, persistently, consistently, perpetually lonely.
  3. Being constant-persistent-consistent-perpetual-ly lonely, with every new acquaintance I encounter, I approach with the intention of becoming close friends. Linking back to Fact #1, I am always disappointed. I have come to learn that I am a really weird misfit unique individual, which sadly means that I haven’t found anyone who can share my ideals with me.
  4. There is a title unceremoniously bestowed upon me which I abhor. That title is ‘flirt’. Linking back from #3, apparently being overly friendly with everyone you meet, especially girls, earns you some disgraceful monikers. As if being labelled isn’t enough, the rumors are spread and every female I approach is now wary of me. This is infuriating. How can they treat me like a sex offender when the only offence I ever committed is being too talkative?
  5. As of recent years, I began to accept the flaws of the human race, such as the judgmental aspects. I am now content with my narrow circle of friends, although actually deep down, not really. I treat people like dirt now, because apparently the opposite isn’t what they want. Consequently, I lost faith in humanity and I’m now a very pessimistic person.


PS: How do pingbacks work? Do the 15 (recently buffed up to 30) links I painstakingly included above count as pingbacks?  ( I included one to the blogger’s home page, and one to a post, in hopes of the pingbacks working.)

The Creative Blogger Award!!

A Prompt that Went Entirely Awry

Present-day you meets 10-years-ago you for coffee.

Share with your younger self the most challenging thing, the most rewarding thing, and the most fun thing they have to look forward to.

I wouldn’t have a single nice thing to say to nine-year-old me. I will probably start out the conversation by telling him my current accomplishments and the situations I am now in. Then proceed to tell him the hell he is going to walk through in the next ten years to get to where I am. Call me mean, and brutally honest, but I call it tough love.

Perhaps I don’t want to spoil the surprises, however unpleasant, but I will warn him of the many things he will discover about life and how harsh it can be. Reflecting back on the past ten years, I realize there really is nothing to be grateful, or thankful, or optimistic about. Life just sucks. It’s a cycle of stress, disappointment, anger, hatred and irritation, which all culminates in death.

I feel like another walking contradiction. I feel proud of what I have accomplished and where I am, but if I were to be given another chance to do it, I don’t want to be where I am right now. I rather have my fun, take my risks, and lose it all. But then again I wonder if ten-years-in-the-future-me will reprimand me for doing so. Is fun and thrill worth it?

I guess I will never know, because I have never taken that road, and I cannot form an accurate comparison. My life is all about the regrets on the other path that I did not walk. Then again, I am proud of where I am now, thus I can’t really call them regrets, can I? Let’s call them objects of curiosity instead then. That’s much more accurate. How do you overcome this curiosity of wondering what would have happened if you walked the other path?

You can’t advise me to focus on the present, because I will always be curious. You can’t tell me to be grateful for what I have now, because I am not. The grass is always greener on the other side, in theory, and my imagination is a powerful thing. I always perceive the path I have not walked to be so much more rewarding.

If I am still being confusing, let’s phrase it this way. One path leads to safety and security. You are well-to-do, decently satisfied and achieved the minimum of what leads to a financially successful life. The other path leads to risk and adventure and thrill. You are exposed to strange things, experienced a great number of things, and perhaps have one great artistic talent, like singing, drawing, dancing or playing instruments. The future is very uncertain, though.

Oh, I just thought of a different way to phrase it which is much simpler. Comfort zone. Doh, why didn’t I think of that earlier!

I feel like I’m digressing so I’ll wrap it up here with a curious query: How do you dare to wander out of your comfort zone if you have so much to lose?

A Prompt that Went Entirely Awry