“One foot… then the other foot… then the other- OH CRAP!” The duck tumbled over sidewards.
“[Insert string of swear words of choice here]” The duck was unabashed at exhibiting her extensive esotericism of expletives.
“Woah girl! You kiss your mom with that mouth?” A fellow duck waddled over.
“That does not make any sense at all.” The lopsided duck fixed a stare at the other duck that shocked me (the author) because I thought ducks can’t show expression. I was proven very wrong. This duck epitomised the phrase: ‘If looks could kill.’
The other duck flippantly disregarded the look it received. “Are you going to get up?”
“I’m trying but I can’t.”
“Are you going to help me?”
The lopsided duck let out an enormous sigh. “Oh dear Caleb the wonderful, brilliant and greatest duck in the human and spiritual planes, won’t you please help me up?” If ducks have eyelids, this one batted them enthusiastically as if her life depended on it.
Caleb obliged, and while he helped to upright his friend, I thought to myself, if ducks could grin and look smug, Caleb was the most self-satisfied duck I’ve ever seen.
Moral of the story: Projecting human traits onto ducks is a ton of fun.
Word count: 196